there's a reason my middle name is grace

this past weekend my bible study took a trip up to flagstaff to kathy's house. just two hours north of STILL hot phoenix is little flagstaff in the mountains. it is almost cold. soon it will start snowing there. i love flagstaff. i was so excited to get away. and to be cold. almost.

i drove up with my dear friend janay, talking and singing at the top of our lungs. as soon as we got there we went straight to the grocery store to load up on food for the eight of us. i ran into my fellow yl staff associate friend holland, the only person i know in flag. small town. love it. the rest of the girls were driving up later so kathy took janay and me to dinner. that night happened to be an art festival in downtown flag so there were people everywhere. flannels and beanies and folk music and art. flagstaff is my kind of town. after the best burger i've had in a long time we headed home to meet the rest of the girls. kathy's "cabin" is less of a cabin and more of a huge house with a movie theater and lots of fireplaces. we hung out all night and talked by the fire. it was perfect. our bible study is made up of mostly 20something women, most married, and one with a baby on the way. i am the youngest but only by a few years. i love them. they are wise and fun and strong and ridiculous. we laugh. a lot. the next day we woke up and made the world's largest feast of a breakfast ever. so elaborate. then we drove an hour or so up a mountain with blankets and food and bibles. we talked and ate and had quiet time and soaked in fall. it was perfect. so refreshing. we walked around downtown flag again a bit more and went in some stores. that night we made another feast of tacos. group effort really. we watched a movie in the mason's theater and passed out. leaving in the morning was hard. no part of me wanted to leave this fall wonderland and go back to eternal summer real life back in scottsdale. it was so good. so so good. and i do wish i could move there. i'll keep it on my list.

in other news, we have a rat. long story short we caught it. put it in a cage. named it lucky. and it's our new pet. it's a domesticated rat. doesn't have the plague or anything. the catching of the rat is actually quite a funny story. and makes me appreciate my roommates even more. i am so grateful for them. coming home and watching movies together or making food or whatever is always what i need. i lucked out. hugely. so blessed.



i read transforming grace for my monthly staff associate training. it's a bit longer than the other books we've been reading and i was having a hard time getting through it. there doesn't seem to be a lot of down time in my life. but i got through it. and lord did it transform me. it revealed so much about myself. i know i have never been great at understanding, giving, or receiving grace. i have a very "you get what you earn" mentality. and although i know better, i have always worked with the motivation of trying to make god love me more. and there is literally nothing i can do to make that happen. i will never be good enough. which is freeing. so freeing. i do not have to try to earn anything with god. i received his grace by the blood of his son- not because of anything i had done or would do. just because i am his child and he loves me. i'll never earn it. so i have been reevaluating everything i do. and my motivation. something i think things in young life aren't going awesome because i'm not doing enough. like i haven't earned a great club. but now i can rest in the freedom that as long as i am doing my job, the rest is not up to me. i can't earn anything. i can only love the lord with my life and serve him out of sheer love for him without expecting anything. it's funny that grace is my middle name. ironic. i needed this reminder. so i suggest reading transforming grace. it's worth it.


i'm getting excited about coming home! in a month and a half i'll be home for two weeks. just to relax and see people and be hoooome. i can't wait to hug my mom.

lots of pictures and a few words

the weather is finally beautiful! seriously i love it. i've been waiting to hike a mountain because it's been too dang hot. so last week when i had my monthly solitude day i took on camelback mountain. hiking by yourself at noon isn't the best idea in the world but it was still pretty great. also this mountain was less of a hike and more of a vertical boulder climb. it's about a mile and a half and takes an hour but very rewarding at the top! so, hike an arizonan mountain: check.

this is not my picture but you have to know why my legs were shaking so bad at the top

also in recent news... i got a tattoo! i know not everyone is thrilled about this (sorry mom) and it looks pretty impulsive. but i'm very pleased with it! it's three little birds on the inside of my wrist. i did it because i think this is an important time in my life. to be free and fly and listen to the lord. i know my life may not always be as flexible as it is now, but my chains are gone and i've been set free. and that's what i want to always remember. so that's it and i love it!

saturday we celebrated my good friend matt's 23rd birthday at bartlett lake. we boated, chicken fried, blasted country music, and had one of my favorite days here thus far. real redneck. real fun. we will do this again.

and finally happy halloween! i ducked out of trick or treating tonight but will dutifully be watching hocus pocus. it's tradition. anyway here's more pictures...

madi janay and i went to a halloween party saturday with a bunch of people we didn't know. so naturally we got the dance floor started. and then left.

all area club was monday! zombie night, so fun.

i had to represent. pumpkins here last about 48 hours before they mold and sag. but, while it lasted, i had a crab pumpkin.

so this is my life in pictures. i need to write more often so i can remember more. but as of lately, life is good. i'm settling in. i don't miss home as much. and i'm not nearly as lost. in fact i gave someone else directions the other day! i live here.

love to my east coast friends during this storm!

this is getting real.

well it's been a while. as warned, things have filled up quickly and i am finding my days getting more and more packed with things and people and driving. it has been a few weeks and i can't even really remember everything that has happened so i'll give you the highlights...

coronado. things are going great and i am constantly surrounded by high school girls at games, homecoming dress shopping, movie nights at my house, and anything else any 16 year old girl wants to do any day of the week. we have started club and had 30 kids at our first real out-of-school club! this was a blessing and has made the transition out of lunch club easy. we have had the same kids come back every week now with a few added. but we are growing. to get kids to come on mondays and spread awareness a sophomore girl, drea, and i made this ridiculous music video (click if you missed it!) which has been a hit. we still show up to lunch every other friday and bring pizza to meet and hang out with kids. about 100 kids show up to that so we're working on getting those kids to come monday night too. but so far it's been great and beyond what we expected. we are doing real young life ministry here.

the banquet. young life has a banquet every year to raise money and support from the community. it's an awesome event and SO MUCH planning goes into it every year. we were swamped at the office the week before, everyone in every day working on pulling it all together. and it did come together. quite beautifully. we got to tell people in scottsdale what we are doing in our ministry and ask them to partner with us which is so exciting. while we didn't raise quite enough money as we needed to for the area, it was still a wonderful night and very well done.

friends. i have fabulous friends here. people who love me really well. who want to be with me and talk to me and know me. who have graciously accepted me into their group even though i am the random girl from maryland. we went salsa dancing a couple weekends ago- so fun. people love me well here. and they're a blast. arizona is starting to feel like home.

san diego. this past weekend i got to road trip out to san diego to see my very dear friends from studying abroad in italy. sarah flew in from iowa and lauren came down from LA and we all stayed in julianna's apartment with her husband chris. it was a gloriously beautiful weekend, touring the city and hanging out on the beach. very chill with some much needed rest. this is our second reunion of all four of us and we have vowed to continue the tradition every year. next fall we will be heading over to iowa to see sarah! i love these girls and have grown so much alongside them in the past couple years. we spent probably the most exciting time of all of our lives together exploring europe and share such a sweet bond because of that. these girls are my friends for life and it was such a blessing to be with them again.

so all is well out west. it's still hot- but has cooled down the the lower 90's. i'm loving it here but starting to miss my east coast friends and family. it's hard and not wonderful all the time. but i do know why i am here and would not have traded this adventurous time in my life for the world! the lord has continued to unfold his plan for me and i am constantly in awe of where he is taking me. this is the life.

solitude

part of my job is that i am required to take one day of solitude every month. it's not a day off or a time to do whatever i want, it is scheduled time to rest. to be quiet. to listen. apparently young life staff people have tendencies to overwork and give and give until they are empty. to not take the time they need to be spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally...etc....well. as a person who has a really hard time resting, this is a great thing for me. no way around it. one day a month i have to tune the world out and listen to myself.

so yesterday i took my first day of solitude. i got up, ran, ate breakfast, laid on my floor, and had no idea what else to do. i do not do well with doing nothing. so i read for a while. which is allowed. after i couldn't process any more of the master plan of evangelism, i laid back on my floor and tried to quiet my mind. things i suck at. for me, the best place i can rest is in my hammock. so i found a park. i set up my hammock in a tree by a lake. and i laid. for hours. i prayed i read i wrote i listened to podcasts. i literally just hung out with jesus. all day. it was glorious. i had no phone and no one to talk to. (except for the lovely gentleman who asked me if i was homeless...really?) i quieted my soul. something that is not very easy for me. i rested. and goodness i was so energized afterwards. so ready to take on the world. it was so good for me.

young life full throttle

it has begun. young life is in full swing. it is crazy. it is a lot. it is what i came here to do.

my teammate jorge and i have been going to lunch at coronado to hand out otter pops. the school loves us and lets us come on campus whenever we want as long as we sign in. it's nuts. so easy. love it. the first time was weird and we met a lot of kids but nobody knew who we were or why we were there. this week was a lot more fun as we are getting to know tons of kids. we started our first club on friday. club at coronado has been during lunch at school in the hallway outside the gym. this concept is something i'm not used to at all and quite frankly wasn't really prepared for. it is fast and you have to be on your toes. 25 minutes to do the whole thing. we had 80 kids come due to some serious advertising from our wonderful campaigners. it went well and we met a ton of kids! hard to start real relationships in that time with that many kids, but the first club was a success.

pudding eating contest. out of a diaper.

that friday night i went to the football game with a bunch of girls. remember two weeks ago when i went by myself? this week i was in the middle of the student section. with blue and red ribbons starting chants. we won the game and i met even more kids. i ended up having 8 girls sleep over my house that night. 2 freshman 3 sophomores a junior and 2 seniors. such a random group of girls and half of them didn't know each other but they stayed up until 6am on my living room floor watching mean girls and laughing and eating big cookie (i copped out at 3. i'm old) 

i am getting the feel of what this job is and how i can spread my time between being with kids and doing office work. so far i love it. fundraising is still the largest time consumer. it's coming slowly but it's hard. one of my goals with coronado is to move club out of school to monday nights like the rest of the clubs in our area. this will give us way more time to do club and to hang out with kids and get to know them. we had a pool party last night to get kids used to young life outside of school. 21 kids came and we had a blast. not bad for our first time and we are planning on starting club next monday! please be praying, we have no idea what to expect and may have a hard time getting kids to come to stuff outside school.

young life is on. full throttle. i am doing my job now. hanging out with kids and talking about jesus. i love it. the rest of arizona is still wonderful too. really hot. last night i watched the season premiere of how i met your mother with jorge matt carter and alexa. my friends. things are falling into place here. and i am so blessed to be here.

soulful singing in the southwest

this weekend we got to go to leadership weekend for young life at lost canyon in northern arizona. the southwest region split into two weekends so we went with about 300 leaders. leadership weekend is not a new ordeal for me, consisting of leaders coming together to get rejuvenated and excited about the upcoming school year. it's one of my favorite young life events of the year.

while i've met most of the leaders briefly at leadership and around the office, i was going into this knowing few people. i got to bring three of the campaigner girls from coronado high school, where i'm leading, who are going to be junior leaders this year. driving up with them and another junior leader from saguaro high school was a blast and a great bonding opportunity. these are now my girls. i am their young life leader. and i'm so excited to get started with this ministry.

now i know the name and school of almost every leader and junior leader in scottsdale. something that completely overwhelmed me when i first got here. and lord almighty are they great people. so fun. so loving. we truly came together as a community this weekend. between large sessions and smaller seminars we hung out. laid in the grass. talked and laughed. got to know each other. sweet time. the sessions were insane. i will tell you one thing, the southwest knows how to worship. they touched on some of the greats: how he loves, set a fire, beautiful things. and they do it right, so loud that you get lost in the music and scream out as loud as you can to god. i love it. my kind of worship. i was brought to tears. that doesn't happen to me every day. i got time to reflect on the past two weeks and what god has already done in my life here. it is mind blowing. it doesn't make sense. but it is so so good. we got to pray over each other. i prayed for girls i had just met the day before. girls i will be leading beside for the next couple years. strong community. i am surrounded by people who all out love jesus. 

it was a fantastic weekend. everything i needed. lost canyon is beautiful. i have dozens of new friends in the area. i am excited about ministry this year. we are starting club this week and i have four campaigner kids who get it and are ready to come alongside jorge and me to make this thing happen. against all odds and plenty of reasons why coronado young life should not work, we are going to do this. to give our all and serve. to love these kids. i cannot wait.

i truly love it here.

jumping, falling, and being caught

week one down. and oh what a ride it has been.

things only got crazier after the initial tornado of leadership. meetings and meetings and people and people. i haven't counted exactly but i know i have met over 100 people. being in a region where i don't know anyone is hard. i'm used to the chesapeake bay region where i know people. i am known. i have to start over here. which is hard but also exciting. i have been welcomed better than i ever could have imagined and it has been such a blessing.

in a time of spoken praise during our regional area director meeting the other day i shared how God has provided for me. and it really is insane. i mean it makes no sense. there are so many things that went into me getting here. so many reasons it shouldn't have worked out. so many things i didn't even consider or think about in terms of planning- but He has gone before me. He has paved the way. i jumped- fell, and He caught me. i have never seen trust played out as clearly as it has in the past week. and i am so blessed. and exactly where i'm supposed to be.


young life is different out here. but good. i'm adjusting. rick, my boss, is the best and understands. he's from the east coast. and open to suggestion. we're having a bar at the banquet- different. my bible study is called the BB's (bible...witches? close enough.) funny. different. due to some complications with leaders i haven't been able to really start doing ministry. so i've just been going to the school and praying. i went to the football game friday...by myself. an adventure for sure. i actually met some kids and got connected with one of our few campaigner girls who is involved. i'm excited. ready to take off. to get to the heart of my job. to get past this fundraising and getting started. speaking of... (sorry for this shameless plug) fundraising is a huge part of my job. i don't get paid if i don't get funded. it's coming along...slowly. if you have not yet received a letter/phone call and are interested in financially supporting me follow this link. much appreciated. seriously.


my roommates are the best. we laugh and quote movies and eat. our house is perfect...and my room is almost done! i need one more frame to hang my wassily kandinsky poster above my bed and i will be done. oh and i need a stand thing for my record player but that can wait. here's my setup...

built that desk all by myself. i mean it came from ikea with instructions but it still took me three hours and some creativity with the few tools i had. anyway i was proud of myself. again a million thanks to the chiappettis for the rest of the free furniture. gotta love family.

yesterday two of my roommates, sarah and madisen, and their boyfriends, kendall and robbie, and my fifth-wheeling-self went skydiving. kind of a welcome to az thing for me and robbie who is visiting from california. so we went. i never really got scared. this is going to sound lame and grossly cliche but i honestly feel fearless after moving here. i have so much trust in the lord that it would be hard to phase me right now. to put me in a situation where i was truly uncomfortable. so i flew 13,000 feet up in an airplane. and then i jumped out (attached to a man named aaron who knew what he was doing of course). and free fell for almost a minute before the parachute deployed. i jumped. fell. and was caught. regardless of how many papers they make you sign acknowledging the fact that you can die doing this, i never really considered the danger. and because of that i had such a fun fall. i wasn't worrying about whether or not i would be caught, i just fell and trusted that the parachute that was supposed to catch me would catch me. and it did.  i loved it. completely exhilarating. crazy view. and, for me, very spiritual. if i hadn't spun so much on the way down and gotten uncomfortably nautious for the next hour i may be addicted to it. so, for now, it will go down as a great experience and be crossed off my bucket list.

story of my life right now: jumping, falling, being caught. it has yet to fail me.